Think You’re Great at Oral Sex? Read This First

Sometimes, as guys, you may take it for granted that you are more into oral sex than your partner. That’s actually not true: Women reallylove oral sex too, and if we are asking for it, we should be giving the same and more back. Reciprocity is an incredibly important part of sexual satisfaction, and women can be satisfied tremendously via oral sex: it just takes a bit more effort and consideration on your part to make it the best experience it can be for her. Related: 10 Sex Positions That Will Get Her Off Every Time

Give her a few words of reassurance.

It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down,” says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. “The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.’ ” Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
Focus on her clitoris.

In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn’t the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings.” Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.Once you’ve located the clitoris, you don’t want to immediately rush in. “Tease her with your mouth and hands to build anticipation and arousal. Kiss her softly around the clitoris, gently nibble on her inner thighs and take your time slowly pulling off her underwear,” says Morse. You can also heighten arousal by touching and kissing her through the fabric. Once you’re dealing with bare skin, you can start with slow tongue motions. Moving slowly, lick up and down, with gentle strokes and a flat tongue. 
Use your hands.

Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break,” says Morse. “And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.While you’ll discover a rhythm that works best with each partner, there are some great routes to take your experimentation while finding the geography of touch that works for you. “While licking, sucking, and massaging your partner’s clitoris with your tongue, try inserting one or two fingers into her vagina,” says Morse. “With your palm facing up, employ a come hither motion with your digits in order to stimulate her G-spot (which is usually located on the upper wall of her vagina, about 2 inches in).” While you’re doing this, sync it up with the motions of your tongue to help heighten her pleasure (and give her a stronger orgasm). You can also bring a small, easy-to-handle clitoral vibrator into the mix, like the We-Vibe Touch.
Read and react to her bodily cues.

Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know,” says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. “If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
Fake enthusiasm (just a little).

“Cunnilingus can be a daunting task when you’re first starting out, and you’re probably not going to immediately start loving it the first time around. Luckily for you (and your partner) this is one of the few occasions when faking enthusiasm is actually a good thing,” says Morse.Much like men do when the roles are reversed, your partner wants to feel like you are having a good time down there. Otherwise she will start to feel self-conscious and immediately tense up, making it way less likely that she’ll be able to orgasm. “I’m not saying you need to take it to porn star levels of enjoyment, but a few well-timed ‘mmms’ and some sultry eye contact could be just the thing to send your partner into another world of pleasure,” says Morse.